Emont's Poetry

To Feel The Way I See Carnal Inclosure Broken Arms The Legend of My Life Earthy Waters, Holy Branches

It is the second half of 2024 now but I wrote these songs throughout 2022. What is the story behind the writing process and why the delay in recording? Originally, I planned to record an album called rather more pessimistically "Am I Overcoming?" but some of the songs seemed overly self-scrutinizing and too willed to being. As my philosophy is that nothing good can ever be willed I later discarded the "not so good" songs and it left me wondering if this was not the case with all of them. Believe me, there is nothing worse than forced songs, poems, or any other art. Such songs are empty zombies, they do not breathe, and they do not carry the deep mystery of life. For a long time, I thought I might bury all of it. I felt that I would rather write new songs. I was in a different mood and moreover, I was already elsewhere, I already overcome, or did I? Eventually, I decided to keep the most authentic songs from that "long gone" era and record them this summer. For me, all the songs I have kept have the connection to the creative source, the spirit, the élan vital, the eros, God, or whatever other word fits for you. Yet still, except for the last song, these new songs are marked with more reasoning than I would perhaps like.

Throughout the time I was writing my feelings were heavily revolving around a need for a change, a need for overcoming. It was like my spiritual self would strongly long for a different place while my emotional self would not permit the change. Indeed it was like the spiritual self would sometimes glimpse the new, yet the emotional self would mostly suffer the old. I think a need for overcoming is palpable throughout all the songs. The tension between the old and the new, the inability to resolve the tension, the longing for the resolution, the soul thurst into regions where the body is not yet, or maybe ever, allowed. Maybe this tension is who we are while we are still here. I did not overcome, I am here with you all, longing.

I would like to thank my friend Tomáš Zamec for taking the photos. This time we found ourselves in my grandfather's house, which was also the place where I recorded the songs.

To Feel The Way I See

Today
Had a hard time
Digging the Good in me
Digging the Good in me
I was poisoned
By all the shits
Running through my veins
Through my veins from my guts
Through my veins from my…

And God I had a hard time
Digging the Good in me
As all the memories
Of who I used to be
Redefined me

Today
Was just another day
Of proving myself to me
Of proving myself to you
That I was not, the shit
Flowing through my veins
And all the thoughts I thought just thoughts
I’m not acting on it
I’m not acting it out

But God I had a hard time
Digging the good in me
As everything felt
As if nothing
Had changed

But this time
I saw the trickster coming by
And I said:
“Hey man, don’t you wanna be my friend?”
But this time
I still believe
In a good woman and a place to be
And I wish I could
Feel the way I see
Yeah, I’m growing, I’m learning
To feel the way I see

Today
Had a hard time
Of seeing myself in me
Of seeing myself in me
Am I a boy?
Bullied by my former people?
Or am I a man?
Sincerely wishing to stand beside you?
Oh, who knows dear?
Your trembling voice is mute but it echoes:
“Time be kind, time be kind, time be kind, time be kind,…”

But this time
I saw the trickster coming by
And I said:
“Hey man, don’t you wanna be my friend?”
But this time
I still believe
In a good woman and a place to be
And I wish I could
Feel the way I see
Yeah, I’m growing, I’m learning
To feel the way I see

And I know you told me multiple times
That sometimes I’m supposed to be an asshole too
So I guess I’m one right now
When I disagree with you
Cause I’m learning and I’m growing
To feel the way I see
And I will feel the way I see
I will feel the way I see

The begging of 2022

Carnal Inclosure

I’m sorry I never asked for your name
But I was stuck inside asking myself
They say there are those who wait
But I never even dared to open the gate
I was a proud coward nobody doubted

Grace rest upon your healing hands
Stroke my cheek and sort my hair
Grace rest upon your mending chest
Break my heart and be my guest
And if you would just hug my knees
I would finally realize
How ridiculous I’ve become
How ridiculous

I’m sorry I never found a way to your face
But I was a disembodied child without a fail
They say for each someone waits
But I never even dared to count myself in
I was an unaware outcast living among

Grace rest upon your healing hands
Stroke my cheek and sort my hair
Grace rest upon your mending chest
Break my heart and be my guest
And if you would just hug my knees
I would finally realize
How ridiculous I’ve become
How ridiculous

And now I just hope to see us dancing in rosemary fields
Full of essential senses we were unable to feel
Full of simple dreams we were too afraid to dream
Crazy fools, we’ll become
Crazy fools

But till then
It’s a carnal inclosure that calls for communication
It’s a restless spirit with no one to relate

The second half of 2022 or later

Broken Arms

I was supposed to find my way
And I swear I’ve done my best
Suffocated by the mind
In multiple senseless nights
Nearing the very end
In never-ending finally getting there (where?)
No
This is not to reveal my way
This is to throw it away

We’ve been wondering
About our heavy feels
We’ve been searching us
Inside our broken arms
Lost was our way from the start
But we had to go
To find our souls
To find our souls

One hundred years have passed
Since the last time I was home
My childhood memories
A wasted potential
Is there something to reclaim?
Or am I just building a new from a new?
No
This is not to reveal my game
This is to throw it away

We’ve been wondering
About our soulmate’s kin
We’ve been searching us
Inside the lousy bars
Lost was our game from the start
But we had to go
To grow our souls
To grow our souls

And what about you my love
Are you someone of a wise?
Or do you insist on the pain that not out of love was made?
Are we worthy of stop asking if we’re worthy of the one, we’ve been waiting for so long?
No
This is not to hide you in veil
This is to throw it away

We’ve been wondering
About our in-betweens
We’ve been searching us
Inside an empty house
We kept our veils from the start
But we had to go
To find ourselves
To grow ourselves

2022

The Legend of My Life

The legend of my life
Nothing much to tell
That you could understand (my friend)
That you could understand

The legend of my life
Too much I would share
But none could understand
But none could understand

There were crazy branches fallen
On crooked roads I took
Dark magic was feasting
On the chaos of my mind
When the elders they betrayed me
While they were trying to help
And cool eyes of strangers scared me
To hell

But it’s over now
The legends are past
Let’s latebloom together
We were not
What we are
Let’s change for the better
Cause this is what we craving for
Cause this is what we striving for

The legend of my life
Is dusty and worn
And it’s on the back shelves
Where the sun cannot reach

The legend of my life
A tale without fairies
An old mythos
Full of monsters and man

There were serious people’s faces
On each corner I turned
Petrified by a warden
Oh, the dark lord of the light
And I found the higher grounds
When they stopped make any sense
But that was a long, long
Long time ago

It’s over now
The legends are past
Let’s latebloom together
We were not
What we are
Let’s change for the better
Cause this is what we’re craving for
Cause this is what we’re striving for

To let our legends go
To let our legends flow
With all the mysteries of nothing and too much
With all the mysteries of nothing and too much

The first half of 2022

Earthy Waters, Holy Branches

Find, find your inner guidance
In being, in whole
Walk, walk upon the grasses
They’re kissing your toes

There will be brooks of earthy waters
Trees of holy branches
Why are you sad?

Lie, lie under the sky high
It's empty and dark
Let, let your bones be swallowed
The Moon is apart

There will be brooks of earthy waters
Trees of holy branches
Why are you sad?

Sit, sit beside me
Ask me how I am
Listen, listen to every and each of my faults

There is a well and if we dig it deeper
There will be a new found spring

And there will be brooks of earthy waters
Trees of holy branches
Don’t be so sad